The Only ONE I Ever Loved
by Wing'dCallisto
Summary: When Neo starts to lose his mind, Trinity realises that she must leave him, and the only way to do that is to introduce him to a not-so-stereotypical Mary Sue clone... who may hold the key to destroying the machines, once and for all.
1. Things Get Wierd

The Only *ONE* I Ever Loved  
  
by Wing'dCallisto  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own The Matrix or anything related to it, unfortunately... that belongs to the Wachowski siblings. However, if I could buy ONE Matrix character... t'would be Neo. Mmm, Neo. 3 I own Annamarie and Percentage but Nain owns herself.  
  
Author's Note: Revised, Rewritten and Re... um... loaded. Hope you guys all like it. OOCness abounds, as well as Britney Spears, pointless humour, and implied Smith/Neo slash. Many thanks to Nain, my beta-reader, who has a cameo appearance. Squeeful.  
  
Summary: When Neo starts to lose his mind, Trinity realises that she must leave him, and the only way to do that is to introduce him to a not-so-stereotypical Mary Sue clone... who may hold the key to destroying the machines, once and for all.  
  
--------------------------**  
  
It was a bright, sunny, happy, joyous, gleeful, enlightening, euphoric, wonderfully happily joyougly gleefully enlightening morning in a dingy, graffiti-ridden, crime-infested, dank, dark, shadowy cold part of the city. Annamarie was happily relaxing outside on her flat's balcony in an inflatable inner tube, reading the newspaper and munching on a carrot. The front page of the newspaper proclaimed, in large black letters, 'Terrorist Attacks Continue- Rebel Group Responsible'. The grainy black-and-white image showed a guy in a black trenchcoat, half blurred, soaring through the air, barely distinguishable from the background. As Annamarie stroked the paper, she did not notice that it was dated three months back, in May.  
  
'Oh, Neo.' sighed Annamarie, twisting a lock of bleached blonde hair on her pinkie. 'I wish that you'd let ME join your rebel group. Then,' she added with a slight giggle. 'I could spend all day with you!' She examined her fingernail. 'You could paint my fingernails...' she said, flicking a loose flake off the end. 'And I'd give you a bit of colour, because black is so bad and not your colour. I think you'd be a pink. Like me, oh my GOD!'   
  
She reached behind her and extracted a fluffy pink notebook with a matching fluffy pink pen. She flipped it open and sighed, reading it in her mind. It said:  
  
My SeAcReT dIrY, FuLl oF pEoMz aBoUt NeOh Ho I lUv VeRi MuCh. by AnNaMarY, AgEd TwEnTy-TwO aNd a HaLf, OmG I LuVz0rZ brItnI. NeO izZ A hOtI hOtI HoT! OmG. PlZ dUn ReD DiZ cOz ItZ mY mOsT iNnAmOzT fOrTz. U r HuRtIn MeH iF yOOo ReD iT!!!!!!11111111111  
  
'I do love to write poetry!' Sighed Annamarie, turning to the next page and reading her first poem aloud. 'This poem,' she said to a crow which had landed on her balcony, 'Is called "My Love, Neo." It's very beautiful, and it goes like this.' She took a deep breath.   
  
'Neo is so pretty, and I'm sure he's very witty.  
  
He must be very smart and his face is a work of art!  
  
When I grow up I want him to marry me  
  
Except he's dating TRINITY!  
  
Someday I will hurt her bad  
  
Then Neo will be mine, there is fun to be had!  
  
The Nebuthingy will love me,  
  
And they will all hate Trinity!  
  
'And I wrote another one, called, "Neo! My Love!"' Annamarie giggled. 'Do you want to hear it?'  
  
The Crow died and fell off the balcony, landing with a soft flump on the ground below.   
  
***  
  
Neo was sitting, alone, in his quarters. He was kicking a pipe that came out of the floor, ignoring the fact that he was stubbing his toe and it was quite painful. 'TRINITY,' he yelled after a few moments, seeing that his toenail had fallen off and his toe was now bleeding. 'I NEED ASSISTANCE.'  
  
Trinity, who had been sitting outside the door, waiting for him to call her, raced inside. 'What?' she asked, then saw his bleeding foot. She gave a heavy sigh and gazed into his blank eyes. 'Neo, sweetums.' she cooed, ripping a strip of material off her shirt and wrapping it around his foot, 'I told you before, you're not invincible in the real world. You'll really hurt yourself soon.'  
  
'I am so INVINCIBLE!' Neo yelled, standing up straight and hitting his head on another pipe. 'OW!' he screamed, sitting back down on his bed, clutching his eye. 'TRINITY!'  
  
Trinity gave a tired smile and she patted Neo on the head. 'I'll get your dinner. You don't need to get up on your injured toe. You wait here. I'll be back in a few minutes.' she got to her feet and smiled down at him. 'Don't move. If you're good, I'll let you into the Matrix for a few minutes so you can play with Morpheus' slinky.'  
  
That sealed the deal. Neo's eyes glazed over, and his face went blank. He rocked back and forth, singing to himself. 'Lalalalala.' he sang softly. He was still singing when Trinity shut and barred the door.   
  
The newest crew member, a girl called Nain, watched her close it. 'I have no idea how you put up with him, Trinity.' Nain smiled.   
  
Trinity laughed, but it was tired and sad. 'Me either. His brain has just ... disintergrated.' she sighed. 'We should have freed him earlier. I have seen what happens to the minds who get freed too late. They have trouble letting go. Their minds... well, they just sink into a state of... Dumbening.'  
  
'Dumbening isn't a word, Trinity.' Nain had honours in English from Oxford, and although they meant little out in the real world, she was proud of her achievement. 'He's sinking into a state of low cranial capacity.' the two of them walked, side by side, and Nain ran her hand through the stubby, scrappy hair that was beginning to grow on her scalp.  
  
'I'm worried about what's going to happen when he loses it.' Trinity said sadly. 'The one will be gone. There will be no more ONE. It's kind of depressing to think that the one guy I truly love is actually turning into a hunk of play-doh before my very eyes.'  
  
When they reached the kitchen, and Trinity had grabbed Neo a bowl, Nain patted her on the shoulder. 'I feel your pain, Trin.' she said, attempting to hide a smile. 'Next time we go into Zion, I'll see if I can get some information on how we can either slow or reverse this state... or a new boyfriend for you, one way or the other.' she shrugged in a pointed manner, and went to sit next to Percentage, one of the 'new' guys that had been released a few months before herself.   
  
As Trinity walked back to Neo's quarters to spoon feed him, she knew she had to get out. She loved Neo, yes-- but not the stupid Neo. And it was then that the lightbulb flickered into life over her head.  
  
'Yesssssss!' she heard Percentage say from behind her. 'Finally, that stupid light works! Honestly, I've been trying to fix it for months. Hey, Trin, how did you do it? Did you do something to it?'  
  
But Trinity didn't hear. She had broken into a run, dropping the food on the ground. She had to find Morpheus. She had to find Link. She had to put her awesome plan into action.  
  
In the distance, she could hear Neo singing. 'I WANT CHICKEN, I WANT LIVER, TRINNY, TRINNY, PLEASE DELIVER.'  
  
'Chicken doesn't exist, Neo.' Nain called.  
  
'Oh,' said Neo. There was a moment of silence. 'CAN I EAT MY OWN LIVER THEN?'  
  
***  
  
'So, you're saying,' said Morpheus, frowning slightly as he watched Trinity, 'that we've got to get Neo a new girlfriend?' He was incredulous. 'I thought you loved Neo.'  
  
'Of course I do,' replied Trinity as she leant across the table in Morpheus' quarters, head in hands. 'But, uh, he's so stupid.'  
  
'He's always been stupid.' Replied Morpheus, a little sadly.  
  
'No, he was a little dorky, but he wasn't ever stupid. He's stupid now, though.' Trinity paused. 'I think it's because we released him too late. His developed-- well, almost developed-- mind was suddenly wrenched out of the world it was happy in. He's been going downhill ever since.'  
  
'Trin, he's always been stupid.' Morpheus pointed out. 'I mean, all the "Whoa"s and the "There is no spoon"s... it got a little repetitive. He's never spoken more than five sentences in a row. Let's face it, this is nothing new.'  
  
'You haven't seen him with his slinky obsession,' retorted Trinity. Morpheus' eyes widened slightly.  
  
'Slinky?' Morpheus was angry. 'SO THAT'S WHERE MY SLINKY WENT. I bet he took my Barbie Doll, too.'  
  
Trinity send him a look that plainly said, 'I told you so.'  
  
'Alright, we'll find a suitable girlfriend for him.' Said Morpheus, trying not to twitch. 'This is just so you won't have to feel guilty about abandoning him, right?'  
  
'Bingo,' replied Trinity in a perfect imitation of the Oracle. 'See, this is usually referred to as a 'Mary Sue' in something called fanfiction. This Annamarie girl that I have chosen will be the 'Mary Sue'. Cool, huh?'  
  
'Cool,' echoed Morpheus, scratching his pore-ridden head.   
  
***  
  
Link was bored. He'd been bored for a long time. Besides, he was just a boring character. But this ship was so unboring! I mean, late at night, he could hear sounds coming from Neo's quarters. Trinity told him that it was just Neo flinging himself against the walls and singing tunes from 'The Nutcracker'.  
  
'LALALALALALA!' There he was again. 'I'M A SUGAR PLUM FAIRY!'   
  
THUMP.   
  
And Trinity! God, she was so scary. Link was kind of in awe of her. She didn't put up with his bullshit and crappy jokes. He hated that. He hated the ship. He hated Nain and Percentage, but not Morpheus. He wouldn't have minded actually going out with Morpheus. They could have a really, really great relationship. And the name 'Link and Morpheus Morpheus' had a really nice ring to it.  
  
Oh, but most of all...  
  
'I hate Trinity,' he muttured as he surfed the internet, looking for porn.   
  
'What was that, Link?' Came an authoritive voice from behind him, causing Link to jump out of his seat. It was Trinity, and she looked pissed. Not literally, of course, since the alcohol on the Neb didn't get people drunk-- it got them stupid.  
  
Like, duh.  
  
'Oh, me, uh, nothing.' Said Link, inching away from her. She gave him an icy stare. Quickly, he did what Neo had told him and pressed Ctrl+X in an effort to close the window.   
  
Both him and Neo had forgotten that that actually meant 'Cut'. Trinity was glaring at the screen, and Link let out a shrill yell of fear.   
  
'Well, hurry up. I'm going in to get her.'  
  
'Who?' Asked Link as Trinity made her way over to get jacked in.  
  
'The Mary Sue,' she intoned.  
  
***  
  
Annamarie was sitting in front of her television watching 'Days of our Lives', a soapie that she was highly addicted to. Ever since she was two years old and had lived in the Trailer Park with her mother. They'd sat together and painted their toenails, watching TV and gossiping about the affair the lady in the next trailer across was having with the mail man.   
  
There was a knock at the door. Fortunately, it happened just as the advertisements did, so Annamarie didn't have any problem with getting to her feet. 'Coming, Coming.' she said with a happy little gallop to the door. When she opened it, she got quite a nasty shock. A woman, dressed all in black, stood there, sunglasses obliterating her eyes so her expression was impossible to determine.  
  
'Are you Annamarie?' she asked in a voice that was both commanding and gentle at the same time. 'I've been looking for you.'  
  
'Who are you?' Annamarie asked, cowering in fear. 'I don't like you. Leave me alone.' she began to close the door, but the strange woman stuck her foot in it. 'No.' she said. 'I have an opportunity for you. It's something you don't want to miss. Something that will change your life.' she added.  
  
'What?' Annamarie was no longer scared-- she was quite excited, now. 'Liposuction? I gained half a pound this like week.'  
  
'No, you stupid bimbo.' Trinity snapped. Then she spied a large poster of Neo above the TV, covered in pink lipstick kisses. 'I mean, the opportunity to meet Neo.'  
  
'OHMYGOD.' Annamarie took a step back. 'YOUMEANTHENEO?' her eyes widened, and she fell to the ground in a dead faint. Trinity looked at her in disgust. Slowly, a smile spread over her face. 'Excellent.' she cackled in a most un-Trinity-like-manner. She heard her cell phone ring, so she went to answer it. The sound revived Annamarie.  
  
'HEY!' said Annamarie, taking the phone of Trinity. 'The normal ringtone is like so not classic. You need to put a different one on.' Annamarie stopped the ringing, much to Trinity's horror. 'Do you got 'Mary Had a Little Lamb?''  
  
Annamarie pressed the buttons, finally selecting a sutable ringtone. 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' blasted out in it's tinny, beep-like glory, and Trinity groaned. How the hell was she supposed to be cool and kick-ass if her phone played 'Mary Had a Little Lamb'?  
  
***  
  
Trinity half carried, half dragged Annamarie to the hotel where they would unplug her. Annamarie was stopping at every shop to gaze at the clothes and ask Trinity if they could stop.  
  
'Yanno, some blue eyeshadow would do wonders for your face. And mine. I want to look so beeeyotiful when I meet... NEO!' she swooned, nearly fainted in the gutter, then regained her composure. Trinity was losing her patience. Already she'd had to wait an hour whilst Annamarie redid her makeup and fingernails, then dressed in the most ugly and slutty outfit Trinity had ever seen. THEN she'd wanted to take her diary with her.  
  
Trinity didn't have the heart to tell Annamarie it wasn't worth it. When they DID go to see Neo, he was probably going to be playing with his slinky. Or his sock puppet. One thing or another.  
  
'Like, ew.' said Annamarie when they reached the Lafayette Hotel. 'Urbanization slash grunge is SO three minutes ago. DUH!' she waved her hand absentmindedly. One of the bare bulbs made her fingernail glitter, and Trinity gave another sigh. As they walked up the stairs to the large doors, Annamarie was constantly bitching.  
  
'UGH. LOOK AT THE CARPET. IT IS LIKE... SO UGH.'  
  
When they did, at last, reach the doors, Trinity felt like she was about to explode. If Annamarie didn't shut up, she WOULD--  
  
'Um, excuse me. Your hair was long a few minutes ago. It's short now. Duh. Why?' Annamarie tugged on Trinity's hair.   
  
Trin took a deep, calming breath and she pushed the doors open. 'Shut up.' she muttered through clenched teeth.   
  
'BUT LIKE WHY?!'  
  
Trinity sighed, barely able to supress her anger. 'Because,' she said sweetly. 'Continuity.' she saw the blank look on Annamarie's face. 'The Wachowskis didn't film the movie in sequence.' she explained. 'You'll also find that I wear three different types of sunglasses in the course of The Matrix and Reloaded. At least, I think I do... Wow, I'm confused.' Trinity pondered this confusion.  
  
Although outside the hotel the day had been sunny and cloudless, as Morpheus turned around to welcome Trinity and Annamarie, there was a flash of lightning and rain began to pour. Trinity rolled her eyes. So much for hacking into the Matrix to make good things happen. Woo.  
  
'Thankyou, Trinity.' said Morpheus politely. 'You may go. Annamarie, sit.' he motioned to a red leather chair, facing the table. Annamarie did not move. She watched Trinity exit.  
  
'Annamarie.' Morpheus repeated. 'Come and sit.'  
  
'UGH. LEATHER? HOW MANY COWS HAVE DIED?' she sobbed, but went and sat down anyway, crossing her  
  
legs in a manner she hoped looked sexy. Not that she wanted to impress THIS guy, she thought grimly. Look at those pores.  
  
'Annamarie, how do you feel?' Morpheus asked, taking the seat across from her. 'Do you know what will happen?'  
  
'I'm gonna see Neo!' she pumped an arm into the air, sporting a cheesy grin. 'UH HUH!'  
  
'... yes.' said Morpheus, rolling his eyes behind his sunglasses. 'Ah, anyway. Do you know what the Matrix is? Annamarie, are you list--'  
  
Annamarie had jumped to her feet and started her favourite cheerleading routine, which involved a provocative full-body shimmy while spelling out the letters of a word. 'GIVE ME AN N!' She squealed, trying unsuccessfully to do the splits. 'GIVE ME AN E!' She added, almost toppling over as she did a backflip. 'GIVE ME AN OH! THAT SPELLS N-E-O-H!'   
  
Morpheus gazed at her blankly until she sat back down. 'Are you finished?'  
  
Annamarie was breathless with joy. 'Oh, YES!'  
  
'...What is the Matrix, Annamarie?' He asked in a tone of voice you would use to explain that one plus one equals two.  
  
'Oh geeez. I never went to school. Is it something to do with English? You know, numbers and stuff.' She examined a fingernail. 'Or is that mathematics? Or perhaps history?'  
  
'It's a computer program.' said Morpheus.  
  
'A what?'  
  
Morpheus stared at her in horror. 'You don't know what a computer is?'  
  
'Should I?' Asked Annamarie.  
  
'The Matrix is like a big doll's house, and you're just one of the dolls in it.' Said Morpheus, hoping that his brain would not melt.  
  
'OH!' Squealed Annamarie. 'Super!'  
  
'I am going to give you a choice. If you take the blue pill, you will remain here in this city, believing whatever mindless, moronic and completely incoherent thoughts that are running through your skull.'  
  
'What's a moronic and completely incoherent??'  
  
'Alternately, you can choose the red pill.' Replied Morpheus, ignoring the blonde.  
  
'Come again?' Annamarie didn't understand the big words. 'Look, I just wanna see Neo. But blue is this season's black.' she began to chew on her prominently displayed fingernail. 'Or was it snot green?'  
  
'Smith told me that it was snot green,' said Morpheus, suddenly interested in the conversation. 'You know the fashion industry?' Finally, there'd be someone on the Neb that understood his love of fashion, feather boas, slinky satin dresses and high heels.  
  
'You mean, AGENT SMITH?!' Annamarie's eyes were wide as she leant forward. 'The famous Drag Queen? YOU KNOW HIM?!'  
  
'Well, not personally.' Morpheus replied. 'But him and Neo went on a date once--'  
  
'OH MY GOD NEO.' Annamarie nearly fainted again. 'HE WENT OUT WITH AGENT SMITH?!'  
  
'They went to McDonalds,' replied Morpheus. 'Neo ordered a Happy Meal. His favourite part was the little racing car that came with it. He was very sad when he had to jack out of The Matrix and leave it behind.'  
  
'VROOM!' Squealed Annamarie.  
  
'VROOM!' Squealed Morpheus.  
  
Through a crack in the door, Trinity watched and rolled her eyes. 'He's a goner,' she mouthed to Percentage, who was busily chatting up Nain and didn't see her comment. Trinity rolled her eyes again before returning to the door.  
  
'VROOM!' Squealed Annamarie.  
  
'VROOM!' Squealed Morpheus.  
  
'MORPHEUS!' Shouted Trinity.  
  
Morpheus cleared his throat. 'Uh... Getting back onto the original subject, red pill or the blue pill? One pill or two pill?' He added, thoughtfully, not noticing how gramatically bad the sentence was.   
  
'I'm going to go with the RED PILL!' Squealed Annamarie, snatching it out of Morpheus' hand and swallowing it quickly. 'OhmyGOD, this is better than the TELLITUBBIES!'  
  
'You like the Tellitubbies?' Morpheus asked as they made their way into the other room. 'So does Neo. Him and Tinky Winky were actually in a physical relationship.'  
  
Annamarie gasped. 'NO!'  
  
Morpheus nodded sagely. 'It's the truth.'  
  
Inside the next room was a bunch of computer gadgetry, including a rotary phone dialer, a monitor that appeared to have been made in nineteen-sixty-three, and an old (leather) chair that had so many holes in it, the foam was coming out the sides. The chair sat next to a cracked mirror. Annamarie supressed a shudder.  
  
'Have you ever had a dream, and you were so sure it was real?' Morpheus asked as he motioned for Annamarie to sit in the chair. She sat, then turned and looked up at him. She bit the side of her lip, then her eyes lit up and she nodded happily.  
  
'Yeah. Like, that one when I was sitting in that spa, and it was full of cranberry juice and bubbles, and I began to drink it, and mama appeared and told me I shouldn't drink bath water.' Morpheus opened his mouth to speak, but Annamarie continued, 'Mama told me that bath water was yucky. But I always drank it anyway. Do you wanna know something else? When I was little, I stuck my head in the water for a few minutes and then I fainted. Doctors said I had brain damage.' She tapped the side of her head gleefully. 'But I was still able to learn joined-up writing! Want me to show you?'  
  
'No, thankyou, Anna--' But it was too late. Annamarie was busily running her finger along the newly-repaired mirror and writing her name in the dust. She did not notice the silvery, mercury-like material begin to slide up her arm. She hummed merrily. 'THERE.' she pointed. 'LIKE MY JOINED UP WRITING?'  
  
Morpheus giggled.   
  
Trinity was standing behind Percentage, watching him look for Annamarie's cryo-pod, and she kept out of sight.  
  
'You're a fool, Trin.' Muttered Percentage as he leisurely scanned for the signal, not really caring that Annamarie was almost entirely covered in the stuff. The computer beeped, and he pressed the button. Annamarie squealed, and then she was silent, limp, her head resting on her shoulder. Percentage continued, without any recognition, 'You should probably get out of his way. Just look at that vein!'   
  
Trinity sighed and watched as Annamarie's body gradually faded. Once somebody had been unplugged, their body was covered in the silver stuff, and slowly they would disappear from view. It had happened to Neo. Trinity smiled absentmindedly as she remembered. Mmm, Neo. So cherryish.   
  
'Trinity.' Morpheus' voice stirred her out of her memories. She looked up at him. He wore a very scary grin. 'I love this new girl! Finally, someone who isn't neuter! I mean, no offence, but...' Morpheus examined her tight leather catsuit. 'That's kind of tacky.'  
  
'Who cares.' Percentage rolled his eyes as he got to his feet and slipped on his leather coat. 'We could just leave her, you know. In the sewer.'  
  
'Are you kidding? I want to see her reaction when she realises she has no hair.' Morpheus sniggered, and the other two stared at him with mock amusement and amazement. 'I might give her some of my Matrix Hair Gel.'  
  
'I wouldn't wear it,' said Nain. 'Because then the Matrix would be able to control your mind easily. Besides, Morpheus, you're bald.'  
  
Trinity's mobile phone rang, and she hastily answered it. Oh, God, they were going to hear...  
  
'Hello?' she asked, ignoring the laughter and shrieking from Percentage. 'MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB?!' he shrieked. 'SO MUCH FOR BAD-ASS, TRIN.' 


	2. Things Get Wierder

The Only *ONE* I Ever Loved  
  
by Wing'dCallisto  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own The Matrix or anything related to it, unfortunately... that belongs to the Wachowski siblings. However, if I could buy ONE Matrix character... t'would be Neo. Mmm, Neo. 3 I own Annamarie and Percentage but Nain owns herself.  
  
Author's Note: Sorry it's not funny ... I tried, really, I did. I even suffered the aural torture of the Pokemon Movie Soundtrack. Alas.   
  
Summary: When Neo starts to lose his mind, Trinity realises that she must leave him, and the only way to do that is to introduce him to a not-so-stereotypical Mary Sue clone... who may hold the key to destroying the machines, once and for all.  
  
--------------------------**  
  
Annamarie awoke in her goo-pod.   
  
She was annoyed.   
  
She did not notice the copious amounts of wires stuck in her arms, the bodies lying in similar pods, suspended forever in sleep or the lightning that ran up and down the towers. No.  
  
The first thought she had without a computer aiding her was that her carefully applied nail polish was no more. Solemnly, tears running down her face, she lamented the loss of it as she pulled the tube out of her throat. Between gags, she began to sing softly. A song that always comforted her in her time of need, sadness and fear. 'Dear Diary', by Britney Spears.  
  
Annamarie had always been told that she had a beautiful voice, and there, in the power plant, she was not afraid of singing at the top of her lungs. Several Robots came over to investigate the noise, for it was a rare day when music could be heard... and it wasn't techno-induced beeping, squealing or synthasization.  
  
One of them flew over cautiously, preparing to eject her from her goo-pod. When Annamarie saw it, she rolled her eyes, all her tears evaporating. 'Like, you seriously should put a bit of colour on. Duh!' she began to sing happily. 'DIARY, DO YOU THINK THAT WE'LL BE MORE THAN FRIENDS?' she squealed loudly as the wires, cords and plugs that were attatched to her popped out. She gazed at the robot and sang the last line as loudly as she could. 'I HAVE A FEELING WE'LL BE SO MUCH MORE THAN FRIENDS.'  
  
This was far too much for the robot. It's small, electronic brain could not handle such blatant stupidity. It made a high pitched squealing noise and went into permenant shut-down. It's carcass fell, bouncing off several other goo-pods, before landing with a soft 'flump' on the dirt thousands of metres below, crow-style.  
  
At that moment, Annamarie was ejected from her pod, sliding down the long tunnel. She squealed. 'THIS IS LIKE SO MUCH BETTER THAN A WATER PARK! WHEEEEEEEEEEE.....' she was enjoying herself. At least that Trinity girl had done -one- thing right, she thought with satisfaciton. Abruptly, the ride ended, and Annamarie found herself belly-flopping into the dirty waters of the unused sewers below.  
  
Helplessly, she flailed. 'OH, NEO, COME AND SAVE ME.' she cried, putting her head under water for effect. Then she realised the pointlessness of the situation, so she swam over to a rock and hunched on it, sobbing. 'NEO, YOU TOTALLY SUCK.' she yelled, her voice echoing off the walls, into the darkness. 'LIKE, A TON.'  
  
At that moment, however, she could hear the sound of a hovercraft humming in the distance. She nearly jumped up and down and did one of the cheerleading routines she'd learnt at school, but decided against it at the last moment, choosing instead to prance joyfully about. She lost her footing on the slippery rock and fell into the water once again and was knocked unconscious. She did not notice the large, spindly claw come down, out of the ship, and lift her to safety.  
  
***  
  
Trinity was not a happy person.  
  
Although, she'd never really been -happy-...  
  
But now she was just more bitter than ever before.  
  
Annamarie had been out of the Matrix for a week, and was already settling in on the Nebuthingy... er... Nebuchadnezzar. She and Morpheus were holed up for hours in his quarters, having slumber parties and discussing Britney Spears. Link and her shared bad jokes. Nain loved her poetry, calling it 'Cool, Hip and IN!' And Percentage thought she was absolutely hilarious.   
  
Annamarie had already raised the morale on the ship. Morpheus loved her so much that he'd renamed the Nebuchadnezzar to the 'We Love Annamarie Ship', which pissed Trinity off, a lot. She liked the name Nebuchadnezzar. Nobody could spell it. Only Annamarie couldn't spell the ship's new name, but that's because she sucked.  
  
Neo and Annamarie had met earlier that day. It would have been earlier, but Neo had had a particularly bad week, and on Monday had reverted to communication via gurgling. Trinity had spent a good chunk of her week teaching him the ABC and basic vocal commands.  
  
'No, Neo, it's not "I wid coky", It's "I would like a cookie."' Trinity had told him in an authorative voice in one of her many teaching sessions. Neo would scratch his head in a monkey-esque fashion and reply, 'Cni...' gurgle 'hvcokieplztrin?'  
  
Trinity would slap him. 'No, you fool!' And then she'd flounce out and not speak to anyone for the rest of the day.  
  
But on the day Neo and Annamarie met, a love was formed. And this is an almost true account of how it happened.  
  
***  
  
Trinity awoke to Neo singing an almost-correct version of 'Get Happy' by B*Witched. He was jumping around in his room, breaking things, and Trinity wondered, not for the first time, if they should put some padding in.   
  
'TRIN, GET HAPPY! A, B, C, 1, 2, 3, CLAP YOUR HANDS AND DANCE WITH ME! HEHEHE!'  
  
She slept outside his room every morning, so if he hurt himself, she'd be first on the scene. As she unlocked the door to his room, she knew that this torture was almost over. She allowed herself a guilty smirk.  
  
Trinity spent five minutes in Neo's room. He'd stopped singing that stupid song, and was now just sitting in the corner, chewing on his blanket and speaking in gibberish. She left, and went to have breakfast.  
  
In the eating room, Annamarie was sandwiched between Morpheus and Link, who were both hanging onto her every word. She used her spork to make gestures in the air, not noticing that she was poking Nain who was busily serving herself some goop.  
  
'So, like, I said, oh MY god, YOU CAN'T WEAR CASHMERE WITH STRIPES!'  
  
Morpheus spat all his goop out and started laughing insanely. 'Damn straight!' He giggled, wiping his mouth. 'I mean, that is like SO 1980s!'  
  
Link looked politely puzzled.   
  
'Oh, Trinity! It's so good to see ya, grrlfriend!' Squealed Annamarie, jumping up and hugging Trinity around the midriff. 'Hey, ya reckon ya could, like, come and check out my like room? I've redecorated and it looks SO DAMN FINE!' She added.  
  
Trinity meekly followed Annamarie into her room. When the door was opened, Trinity gasped in horror. Annamarie mistook it for joy. She hugged Trinity again. 'You like like it? I like love it!'  
  
Annamarie had unearthed a tin of old pink paint in the 'We Love Annamarie Ship's cargo hold, and had happily taken it to her room and proceeded to paint it. All of it. Even her clothes were pink. Whilst the other crew members wore simple grey or black jumpers, Annamarie had painted hers pink. The overall effect left something to be desired, as the jumper had previously been black and made the pink look fairly dirty.  
  
'You do know that you change your name in the real world, right, Annamarie? Morpheus asked me to assist you.' Said Trinity, inching her way out of the tacky fluro-pink room.   
  
Since all of the new crew members took on new names once they were freed, Trinity had been given the job of giving Annamarie a new name. It was a hard job. For one thing, Trinity couldn't think of a name that had 'Stupid', 'Blonde', 'Clueless' and 'Scary' in it. They all took on new names because, as Morpheus had told her, now that they were in the real world they should have real names, not those namby-pamby prefabricated and programmed ones.  
  
Before they'd been freed, Nain had been called Nina, and Morpheus had been called Snuggles. (his parents had both suffered from brain damage, and they treated their son more like an oversized teddy with pores than a human being.)  
  
'Oh yes, that's like a cool idea, but I've already picked my name.'   
  
'Oh.' Trinity looked deflated, but inside she was cheering. She didn't have to pick a name for this stupid bimbo after all!  
  
'Oh yes.' replied Annamarie, unfazed. She examined her fingernail, which was painted the same pink as her jumper and the room. 'You may refer to me as Elle.' she heaved a loud, joyous sigh around the same time as Trinity retched.   
  
'Elle?' Trinity choked.  
  
'Oh yes.' Annamarie repeated, not noticing how repetitive she sounded. 'As in Elle Woods, from Legally Blonde? That is like a great movie. Elle has like such good fashion sense. I probably won't get to see the se-... seeew-... um, the movie that comes after it.'  
  
'Sequel?' Trinity replied faintly, taking a step back. Trinity had no idea who Elle Woods was. She didn't go into the Matrix to watch movies. Besides, she'd always enjoyed Kung-Fu and Science Fiction to Chick Flicks.  
  
'Uh, like, that's not the POINT. Can I please go see Neo? Please?' Annamarie... I mean, Elle. pleaded.   
  
Trinity heaved a sigh. 'Fine, Anna-- uh, Elle. Come with me.'  
  
***  
  
Trinity took Elle to see Neo. Opening the door to his quarters was a complicated procedure. Since Neo was not only dangerous to himself, but everyone else now, his door was locked and bolted shut, had a security camera on it at all times, as well as an alarm that notified if he'd escaped. Only Trinity could get in.   
  
The door slid open upon Trinity's command/request. Elle looked excited. 'I'm gonna meet the Neo. Unreal.' she whispered, jumping up and down and causing the metal grating below her to slightly give way as her clunks echoed around the Nebuchadnezzar. Trinity winced. They didn't have time or the required materials to fix the floor at the moment, what with Neo constantly tearing up his room in an effort to get attention.  
  
'This is where Neo lives.' said Trinity as they took a step inside. Surprisingly, the only damage in the room was that the single blanket looked like it had a lot more holes in it than usual. And that's when Elle saw Neo, and stifled a scream.  
  
'Hello Mr. Bunnywunny.' Neo said in a high-pitched imitation of a girls voice. He wore two finger puppets, both made out of the same material as the Holy Blanket. 'Oh, Hello Mrs. Snugglewuggle.' intoned Neo in a deep voice, waggling the other finger puppet. Trinity looked over at Elle, who was nearly in tears.  
  
'Ohmygod. The Neo. Is dumb.' Elle deadpanned, wiping her eyes.  
  
'Yes,' said Trinity, a little impatiently. 'That's why you're going to become his girlfriend.'  
  
Annamarie paused, then brightened. 'OMG I'M GOING TO BE LIKE NEO'S GIRLFRIEND?'  
  
'Yes.' Trinity repeated, tapping her foot. 'Why don't you two get aquainted? I need to go talk to Nain for awhile.' Elle didn't answer. She went and knelt down beside Neo, who looked up at her with glazed eyes. 'Bunny.' he gurgled.   
  
'Bunny.' Elle gurgled.  
  
Trinity watched Neo hand Elle one of the puppets. 'Wantapla?' He gurgled.  
  
'Yehwantaplay,' replied Annamarie. 'OH, MRS. SNUGGLEWUGGLE,' she screeched suddenly, causing Trinity to step back and block her ears. 'WOULD YOU LIKE A GLASS OF TEA?'  
  
'INDEED, MR. BUNNYWUNNY,' replied Neo, his eyes aglow with love for this pink humanoid. Oh, he LOVED Elle! She was so much more feminine than Trinity, who could have-- and was more suited-- to being a guy.  
  
'LuffuEl,' beamed Neo.  
  
'LuffuNeoh,' beamed Elle.  
  
'Oh, brother.' Muttered Trinity, turning on her heel and exiting the room quickly. But at least she didn't have to feel guilty about abandoning Neo any more... she sighed sadly. She was going to miss him. She loved him-- still did.  
  
He was the only One she'd ever loved.  
  
Literally. 


End file.
